That's quite enough of that, wouldn't you agree?

You might be wondering why the post title is what it is. Well, what it is, is... it's a comment on the last post. What a lot of drivel that was, eh? No one wanted to know about that. No one reads this anyway, but if someone wanted to read anything it wouldn't be that.

This post is also so entitled because it's the only British response I could think of. The equivalent from across the Atlantic would go something along the lines of me dressing up as a drill sergeant and hollering at the mirror with a Southern states drawl "You are an absolute disgrace!". Which wouldn't do at all, now would it?

Who's the more lonely- the man on his own, or the man in a crowd?

One of the many things I despise on the internet is cries for help from pathetic people who attach themselves to their computers 24 hours a day and live vicariously through their keyboard and the amount of people who comment on their desperate calls for attention about how shit they are at cooking or whatever.

This isn't one of those. I hope. If it is, you all have permission to hate me with the same zeal I have for the aformentioned members of mankind.

Getting ahead but not buggering your degree: Rules of engagement for uni

So. Everyone has degrees these days, or at least it seems like it. And what does it mean when absolutely everybody is special? That's right. No one is.

Any naive and slightly unable-to-hold-their-drink, wide-eyed A2 Level student will tell you just how much better their job prospects/ life/ mating talents/ burial casket will become when they have put in a little bit of work for three years and gotten a degree. The pay will be better. The opportunities more frequent and fruitful. Their fame and fortune in any field they want to approach far more likely.

Fast forward to the other side of the spectrum. "Beyond undergraduate [INSERT SUBJECT HERE]" is seen in most subjects in most unis at some point, normally towards third year, and is almost always not compulsory to attend. So students don't. And then, the poor graduate on the "other side" we've just spoken about who either hasn't been to said lectures, hasn't listened to what was in them or has tried to follow advice and ended up realising it's too late in the day to get the work experience he needed last week sometime to apply for, say, a position in the States, is left with just a degree.

I say just a degree. At the end of the day, it is a degree, and that's definitely something. They come in different shapes, sizes and difficulties even among the same subject, across unis and teaching approaches. But after the training the student is left naked in the wilderness armed with an undergrad certificate, and told to build a castle from it.

So, how do you go about getting ahead of the pack? Top tips, from what I've gathered in my first two years, are below.

They merely lack the light to show them the way...

So, go to university. Check.

Realise it's not the hedonistic haven you might have thought. Check.

Enjoy the hell out of it anyway. Check.

Realise it is rapidly becoming a building site designed specifically to train blind people to use their other senses. Che- Er... eh, what?