The sort of strawberry printed, superhero logo-bearing, 'watchword printed just above the colon'-sporting wastes of money you can get from Topman, Next et al for the seemingly small price of one limb. Sometimes two, if they're special.
(Like these.)
I never have liked them, and have never owned a pair. What's wrong with Matalan's 'twenty million plain boxers for a fiver' deal? That's what I've always thought, and no matter what direction my life goes in with all the money and fame that is, inevitably, heading my way, I like to believe that I will forever be in that state of mind. At no point will more than 10% of my underwear be anything other than plain black, white or grey.
That said, this morning I was presented with a pair that wear the motif 'I <3 Chips' over and over by my sister. I should point out here, she was given them first by a mate who thought it'd be funny as a gimmicky birthday present. Her reasons for not wanting them? They were, and still are, 'man shaped', and she doesn't 'have a man shaped bum'. So she tried them on once, put them in the wash, and now I have them.
And I have to say, I've been wearing them all day and they work exactly the same as any other pants. Two holes for my legs, one for my waist, one for my lovely bits when I pee. Sorted. And the pattern isn't bad either. I just wouldn't pay a pair of limbs for a pair of pants.
So, I began the day not knowing the point of novelty underwear.
Now, I understand the allure of them as I own a pair.
Yet I wouldn't be fooled to buy multiple patterns or logos,
and plain colours will be just fine, they give me enough kudos.
Not my best attempt at verse but damnit, I'm trying to get my forms and styles back on track and creativity back into top gear.
Which, incidentally, is on later. Huzzah.
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