The rise of the rhyming advert

Twenty two days without a post? Blimey. Anyone who thought the recent summer glory would have mellowed me, sorry, but I return with a resounding fanfare of two words. Stop it.

Here's a quick list of those involved so far- Jenson Button, Harvester, a 118 radio ad, that stupid dog training TV show after extensive research, it is called A Different Breed- I'm not sure if that's in reference to the dogs, the team behind it or the owners), and Cuprinol's 'Wood Preservation society'. Also, the "For dogs who BLANK a lot" dog foog ad- Oh, Philip Glenister, how could you?

Fuck off. If you want to sell things or encourage people to watch or use them, sell them, show them, tell us why we need them and make sure we know they're great if they are. Don't make up a stupid bleeding rhyme.

For once I'm not going to over-emphasise and let something other than my motor-mouth of anger (should that be motor-fingers?) do the talking. I am posting the adverts which so adversely afflict me here. Watch them, and understand my annoyance. I do not ever remember the products they sell, let alone want to spend money on them. If anything, when I occasionaly hypotehtically have a flashbulb memory of the horrors here, I'll be more inclined not to spend money, as they annoy me so. Tsk.

Just what the hellis going on?.

I've never been this partial to fences.

If I'm hungry this would just hack me off in a restaurant.

Jenson Button proves he should stick to driving.

Here, Philip Glenister rhymes a lot in a Winalot ad.

Unfortunately, I cannot find the audio for the Classic FM broadcast 118 advert online. The best I can offer is the wavelength (100-102 FM), the website (www.classicfm.co.uk), and the assurance that if you give yourself a couple of hours you'll hear it.

And now, as a bonus, a non-rhyming but equally stupidly executed advert. This genius JML painting pointer thingy- make it easy, not fun. Painting has never been so fun. One- I bet it has. Two- I don't want it to be a thrill. Three- you've completely missed the point of this genius product.

Again, I can't find the original advert online. However, I can assure you that if you give yourself a couple of hours to watch Channel 5 (now, apparently, just '5') in the daytime you'll be told about it.