We don't have the technology, we can't rebuild... your face

Listen up marketing and advertising gurus of the TV world. There's a gigantic bone I'm going to pick, with all of you, right now. So pay attention.

We do not have nanobots at the beck and call of every cosmetics company. So seriously, stop telling me that every cream, facepack, deoderant,shampoo and toothpaste is full of patented technology, illustrated by an animation in which cells or spheres move autonomously across the skin/ teeth/ hair. It doesn't happen, and won't happen within our lifetimes. Even if scientists are working on developing nanobots, they won't come to fruition for espionage, medicine and warfare for at least fifty years, according to leading experts, and even then they'll be very basic.

So- stop with adverts like the following. They are ridiculous.

And shame on Weisz for doing such an ad.

There's an advert for a Sure deoderant for women airing at the minute which claims to contain "motion sensitive technology". So there are, what, minute spirit-levels and circuitry in the fine, slightly white spray that then release hidden capsules are there? No? Didn't think so. It might be a temperature/ heart-rate sensitivity, sure, in which case it could release extra anti-juice over time, but it isn't what they claim.

Stop assigning extremely specific parameters to what your product excels at, too, if you don't mind, and definitely don't do it by claiming they "target" or specifically "hunt out" grey hairs/ blackheads/ drops of sweat/ appleskin between your teeth. The product may well be exceptionally adept at doing those things, but it isn't "deciding" to do so while mid operation.

A la-

Remember, above all esle- scenes like this-

never happen in your shampoo lather.

Why do we need that sort of thing anyway? So long as a shampoo can succesfully claim that it won't make my hair fall out in one go, and a toothpaste won't melt my gums and preferably tastes of some sort of mint, I'm happy.

Oh, and one other thing- Sominex. They've started running adverts for it again, but was it named something else at some time or another? I'm sure it was, but can't for the life of me thing what, or find it online. Am I getting old? Do we have a cream to put in my ear full of memory-restoration bugs? That'd be handy.