I'd never heard of her until this afternoon. The internet is now aflame with withering commentary from everyone, ever, on some god-awful clap-trap she spewed onto a keyboard. It's become a sort of Doctor-Appointment-Gate or Semen-Theft-Gate a la Liz Jones. And it all hinges on a lady who, frankly, looks pretty enough but not knock-out stunning having issues with people being nice to her and donating to the great cause of Mme Brick's Life Of Funnery by paying for things for her, buying her wine, and generally be incredibly rude and nasty by being nice.
NB- it mentions in the article that her husband is French. Hence calling her Mme not Ms/ Miss/ Mrs/ Evil Queen, fairest of them all.
Here, have a picture at which you can have a butcher's. This is the lady in question, image copyright of the Daily Mail, designed to capture her at her best and thus illustrate her point.
And now, some quotes.
"And most poignantly of all, not one girlfriend has ever asked me to be her bridesmaid." Me neither, lady. Me neither. Horrible, isn't it? When all we live for is the chance to play second fiddle to someone else on their big day and they never deem us bad enough? Boo-fecking-hoo.
"It seems the only crime I’ve committed is not leaving the house with a bag over my head."
"I’m not smug and I’m no flirt"- Clearly this may be something that needs reassessing. If she's no flirt, and based on her appearance, we have two possibilities. Either she is, in fact, a massive flirt to garner such positive attention from males and negative attention from females, or every woman she has ever met has been insecure and paranoid above and beyond the threshold of just being human and into psychological trouble territory. Whichever of these is not impossible must be the truth, no matter how improbable. I'm sticking with the theory behind door number 1.
"I find that older women are the most hostile to beautiful women." No doubt through well catalogued observation in the beautiful woman's natural habitat. If Mme Brick is insisting on classing herself in the genus Homofeminine Persecutus then not only is it skewed but there are no control observations and no supporting evidence. Tsk. Journalism these days.
"Perhaps then the sisterhood will finally stop judging me so harshly on what I look like, and instead accept me for who I am." Two things here: 1) I'm now picturing gun-toting gangs of women driving around as a Sisterhood, kidnapping pretty women and running intimidation campaigns; 2) Perhaps the issue is everyone knows what Mme Brick is, even if she doesn't, and accept it but won't tolerate it- just as you don't tolerate the most assurance hungry toddler after a while.
It's painfully obvious that what Mme Brick has written here is the equivalent of the question posed to you by that one far too drunk girl at parties- can you give me attention? Will you, if I tell you something untrue and derogatory about myself, do the decent thing and deny it? I don't know about anyone else, but I lose patience with these people. A typical conversation of this kind, were it to happen, would go:
"God, I'm such a mess. My lips are so eurgh and I'm really unfit."
"Mmm."
"Don't you think?"
"Mmm. Yeah. Oh well."
In other words: "Piss off, bitch. I'm not going to be the compliment cuddly toy at the end of your arcade grabber of a pantomime postulation."
So it's with great pride that I look upon the internet today, specifically the lower half of the internet- also known as off the map, here be dragons territory. Mme Brick's article has become a news story, something ordinarily making me weep for civilisation, but today it is a news story only on the merit that the attention being paid to her is vitriolic honesty. The internet has caught on that the right answer isn't to praise and compliment, but to cut them down. The comment section on the article is genius, the combined effort of society as a whole banding together to help someone deal with their delusional behaviour.
Incidentally, a few big things are going on- Middle Eastern unrest still roils; social and personal liberties look likely to be limited once the Cabinet teach themselves Internet 101; public services are holding London 2012 to ransom again with threats of bus strikes; Venus is passing the Plaiedes and looking pretty. Important things. But not as important as the hardships of looking pretty, or thinking you do. Sirens seem alive and well.
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