I have noticed recently that there has been some confusion over what constitutes being a colossal dickhead in the nation of Libraria and what does not. Allow me to clear a few things up for you, but first may I just say that yes, it is your fault that I have become that guy, and no, I'm not happy about that, either.
Now, the first thing in our tour of twattishness concerns the fact that territory is at a premium.
Use of workstations should consist purely of using said workspace. "I'm just going to get a coffee" is not an adequate reason to give some poor girl waiting to print her coursework, due in ten minutes, as to why you're leaving with your bag but not logging off or clearing away any of the thousands of sheets you've spread all over the desk. If you are using the computer, use it. If not, it's not yours, and do not act angry when you return from your refreshments and find someone pointedly in "your" place, committing the cardinal sin of actually working.
The use of flags to stake a claim to an area died out with the end of the British Empire. It still rears its head on occassion, but only where everyone accepts the terms of engagement; situations like blagging your sun lounger at six in the morning with your towels before the pesky Germans get to the pool, that sort of thing, is acceptable.
Carpet bombing a computer workstation with what looks like all the stationery, pads and textbooks you've ever owned and then kindly buggering off for ages is not an acceptable time to try and ressurect our Imperial ways. It will, in future, be met by a similarly regimented action, if that's the era you are trying to hark back to. I will arrange a detail of redcoats, take you outside and shoot you.
Alternatively, I may just sabotage any work you eventually decide to get around to by taking away the tools of that trade. If you come back from your walk, your chat or your coffee break to find the printing bay is being treated to unseasonal and unusually large snow, it will be because I found a more entertaining use of your paperwork than as a territorial marker. Similiarly, if you return to find the workspace cleared and no one around, it will be because I have piled all your stuff up and hidden in somewhere else in the library. If I'm feeling kind I'll leave a post-it with a riddle clue on it.
The solution would be to stop being a dick. Then maybe I won't wage war on you. Until then, consider this your notice. "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore."
Yours.
The Curmudgeonly Young Man.
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