The Grump and The Gays: Day 1- The Unexpected Film

Well now, as an aspiring writer, and completely driven to get ahead (and a hat, with a big feather on it) I went looking for some work experience in that field for this summer.

Good news is, I got some. I knew that a while ago, but in itself that's not the interesting part. I cannot name names for legal reasons (always wanted to say that), but first thing yesterday morning I was dressed in my sharpest jeans, a swanky t-shirt and slick jacket, ready to commute into fair Londinium and enter the high rise steel and glass offices of this country's leading gay and lesbian lifestyle magazines. Oh yes, the Big Time and I have intercepted each other on the road of life.


The world I imagined I was ascending the staircase to.

However, one sweaty train ride and three soakingly sweaty tube journeys later (I got off at the right stop, convinced myself it was wrong, got off somewhere else, realised the mistake and went back- genius) and I was walking, half an hour late, towards a white cuboid. Not quite the silver lined, ethereally lit kingdom of awe I'd had in mind.

Of course, the inside looks better than the outside. It's actually a swanky set of offices, just a shame about the peeling white exterior.

They're a decent bunch too, all very polite and, well, while I can't abide one or two of them (especially en masse, the chorus of lisps and the wet handshakes just make me a tad uncomfortable...) I haven't met a single person yet who hasn't been lovely, and they've all been a little blown away (no puns here, okay?) by the stuff they've asked me to write.

So far, it has consisted of a few competition announcements, a blog entry and a couple of music reviews for two of their magazines. Onwards and upwards.

I am, though, having a bit of trouble adapting to their style... It's a bit innuendo fuelled, and they manage to write camp. I've had to write how I normally would, then insert a liberal amount of 'oof's, 'phwoar's and references to the muscles and bulges of fit actors of the telly/ cinema screen.

I'm trying to get into a mindset of someone who wouldn't mind wearing a pair of these:



The best bit of the day, though, was getting a press ticket and a plus one to a press screening of the greatest film I've seen this year. Inception. It will blow your mind.

I took me ol' mucker Sir Higson of Dorking. It was at the IMAX in Waterloo, the UK's largest screen. A pure press event with a press release and everything. And he introduced me to a great pub called The Hole in the Wall. It's in one of the arches outside Waterloo.

Now then, so that that last image isn't the last thing burned into your mind, here's a reminder- see this film!